Day 4: Failure

Today is the first day that I can say that this is actually difficult.  I mean I knew that eventually it would be but it's just today I woke up just kind of jaded, completely depressed and exhausted.  I still went through my normal routine.  Went to the gym and such.  This has still been a bit of a pretty bad day.


At the end of the day I will be 10% done with this fast.  10% seems like nothing.  The end seems so far and distant and insignificant.  Yet and still I feel that for some reason that I can't even comprehend nor explain why I want to continue on with this fast.  I think most of it has to do with the fact that I don't want to fail at something else.  I want to see this through totally and completely until the end.  I feel like I've done a lot in the just over a quarter century that I've been living on this earth but also by the same token there have many times I haven't completely lived up to my full potential.


I can't complain because in actuality I am better off than most but by the same token, I feel as though I could have accomplished so much more.  There have been so many points in my life where I've gotten discouraged and just don't want to continue on with what I want to do.  It as if  I have lived my life by taking the convenient alternative rather than putting forth the full effort.


Song of The Day: "I Do Not Want This" By Nine Inch Nails


Yesterday I consumed:
1/2 Bottle Blueberry Acai Healthy Protein
1 Blueberry Pineapple Smoothie at the gym
Juice of :
1 Tomato
1 Tomatillo
1 Jalapeno
3 Carrots
1 Cantelope
1 Grapefruit
2 Handfuls of Kale with pulp
4 Stalks of Celery


2 Chronicles 32:17-21


17  The Assyrian king also wrote letters insulting the Lord, the God of Israel, and speaking against Him, saying, As the gods of the nations of other lands have not delivered their people out of my hand, so shall not the God of Hezekiah deliver His people out of my hand.18  And they shouted it loudly in the Jewish language to the people of Jerusalem who were on the wall, to frighten and terrify them, that they might take the city.19  And they spoke of the God of Jerusalem as they spoke of the gods of the peoples of the earth, which are the work of the hands of men.20  For this cause Hezekiah the king and the prophet Isaiah son of Amoz prayed and cried to heaven.21  And the Lord sent an angel, who cut off all the mighty warriors and commanders and officers in the camp of the king of Assyria. So the Assyrian king returned with shamed face to his own land. And when he came into the house of his god, they who were his own offspring slew him there with the sword.